love story?

I was just wastig time on orkut and I read a guy's testominal that started with "What can you say about a 21 year old "..... It was obviously a spoof on love story. But then it reminded me of how beautiful that line was.
But when you come to think of it, its a stupid mushy romantic line that would have appeared a thousand times in hindi movies. The second line appeals to me eve moroe. That she loved mozzart and bach and beatles (sorry for the lower case, i know its blasphemy) and me. I dont know why I like it. Its probably the kind of stuff that stupid 14 year old girls would like. But anyway I just think it was a great book and I have no reason why. I can go on and on about what other things i liked. But yes conciseness was probably the best part :). The fast moovig story alllows youoo to fininsh it in one go and make a very strong imopact.
That aside. This is the last week of this trip. And I have spent a lot of ime alone on this trip. It was kind of boring. LA trip was the high point.
I am quite happy to be going back. Have some very happy things planned foro the next 2 weeks. One in bangalore and the other one at homeo and in Delhi. The idea oof being back in Delhi brings a very broad smile. I dont know what I would do there. But just the picture of being close o India gate and oon the ring road....
C u there :)

Dedicated to one of my fav ppl

Charecteristics of A good person:
1. Ready, almost eager to help.
2. Compassionate/concerned about other's problem
3. Cheerfulness... as much as possible. If nothing else is going right at least try to keep the ppl around you happy :)

All that One wants from life is that when your friends remember you, a smile comes to their face and they say ... achha banda hai :)
And all this is besides the professional and academic excellence. Excellence doesnt count as much.
A good character is far more important. And believe me, in the words of Robbie Williams, ...
"Sir I'm doing all I can, To be a better man" ... and my better man is defined by you :)

A human being in general and an IITian in particular will be happy in any state as long he has someone to whom he can boast his achievements or talents. then be it some of our professors bragging around in front of their students everything ranging from hunting expeditions to code optimizations :D
or some ppl in my hostel whose sole aim of every word they ever utterred was to prove their hugely enormous talents in everything they've ever done.
as rightly said by somebody :
"All that a man wants in life is someone who hears whatever he has to say"
And with some, in fact most ppl, all they have to say is to brag about themselves.
Why do ppl have to have such gigantic egos. Why do they want to be superior ... why cant they just be good human beings.
What this world needs is not huge talents or achievements, just some good human spirit and compassion will do.

Eye of the Tiger

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Chorus:
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

with time the child draws in
this whipping boy done wrong
deprived of all his thoughts
a young man struggles on and on he's known
a vow unto his own
that never from this day
his will they'll take away

they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
throughout his life the same
he's battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me

BTW between this and Unf2 the second one is not half as good. also this reminds me of another poem ...
If I could live my life again
in the next one I would try to make more mistakes
I would not try to be so perfect, I would relax more.
I would be more dumb than I have been, in fact
I would take very few things seriously.
I would be less hygienic.
I would take more risks, more trips,
I would watch more sunsets,
I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers.
I would go to places where I have never been to,
I would eat more ice-cream and less beans,
I would have more real problems and less imaginary ones.
I was one of those people who live sensibly and
prolifically every minute of their life.
Of course I had happy moments. But if I could
go back I would try to have only happy moments.
In case you didn't know life is is made of that, of
moments only; don't waste this very minute.
I was one of those people who never went anywhere without
a thermometer, a bag of hot water, an umbrella and
a parachute; if I could live again, I would travel light.
If I could live again I would start to walk barefoot
at the beginning of the Spring and stay like that until the end
of the Fall. I would go around more on the calash, I would contemplate more
dawns and I would play with more children, if I had again life ahead.
But, you see, I am 85 years old and I know I am dying.
... An old man's viewpoint of my life is something which always terrifies me.

I have quite a lot of friends. And at some point or the other I have had reasons to believe that they all love me a lot. I know they will be there for me, do anything for me. It feels so warm. So many ppl caring for me all the time. Despite the irritating and boring person that I am.
I think I am extremely lucky to have so many really good friends. I have known very few people who have been blessed as I am.
But at the same time sometimes I feel so lonely. It feels that its all artificial, its all a pretense, even with some friends who mean the world to me.
I guess its somewhere in between and at the high moments I believe everything that happens to be glorious and at the low points I take it all down.
Shouldnt be like that.

"People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do! "

Ye exactly what to ddo kya hota hai bhai. In my complete life i havent ever known exactly what to do. There are always alternatives and I am always confused. I even find it hard to choose the icecream floavour. And people talk about knowing exactly what to do in life. I guess the only exactly what to do decision can come from the heart. Because brain always chooses from the alternatives.. and there are always alternativies and there is always confusion.
And in decisions of the heart .. its not stable .. today i like this .. tomorrow i might not.. so i might regret my choice then.
The choice in decision of brain is alternative varying and in case of heart its time varying. This is exactly what I did for my btp. :D :D. to decide which method to choose in each decision. anyway its getting complicated and wierd.

Even now i have work to do and i want to go and get a coffee. And i dont know exactly which one to do. So i would try figuring out.

p.s. : "life is like a black man's left ass.. its not fair and its not right" :D

I dont know why I hate some people. For no reason at all. Just watching them sometimes brings about this feeling. And quite a few of these people are the ones who I call my friends. So its strange I have these double standards. In fact at some level or another we hate everyone except ourselves. Well... almost.
.....
There are some people you do not very well know. But you find them very interesting. And you wish you had spend more time with them.
There was such a guy in my college. Didnt talked to him a lot during the college. But was in touch with him after that. And I hoped to spend some time with him. But couldnt. And he wrote a line in his blog which I still remember and still feel happy whenever I think of him.
It is probably the second best line I have read. The first one being "All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others". Digressing a bit ... this line just makes me so happy. I think that it requires a very good sense of creativity and humour to have written this. It captures everything that the author wanted to say. BTW it is from Animal Farm- George Orwell. It is a genius' work. Just one line weighs heavier than the rest of the book.
The second best is "Become worthy of this institute by being world class human beings". This again is so well written. And this guy hopes to be a writer someday. Hope he does.

So its all whims and fancies.. we like somone for no apparent reason and we hate someone for no reason at all.

The desire to win...

Listen to this song ... Aashayein (Iqbal)
kuch paane ki ho aas aas
koi armaan ho jo khaas khaas ...
toofano ko chirke
manzilon ko cheen le ...
guzre aise har raat raat
ho khwaishoon se baat baat

What do we have to hope for in life. What do we have to fight for? Nothing at all. When was the last time you felt the desire to win. Studies were not important for most. All other causes we faught for were borrowed. RCA for many was again a foreign cause. We say country is important. But the day we are asked to do something we back out. We want others to fight for it though.
Jobs by definintion lack the concept of winning. And if you think promotion and salary raise is winning, wake up and think again. Feel for that guy in Iqbal who made into the team. Can you ever be that happy? No simply because we are not fighting.
I guess this line says it best : "guzre aise har raat raat ..ho khwaishoon se baat baat". Everynight before sleeping what do you dream for?
The best we could have done was to start up a company. But we missed it. And I regret it now more than anything else in my life. Life gives us a second chance. Kill this man Arjun Singh. Fight for your country. But no thanks. We are happy sitting and blogging. BTW thanks to him: we have a better discussion topic than Sachin Tendulkar's bad cricketing performance.
Well there's nothing to worry about. Yes the feeling of fighting and winning is completely missing from our lives, but 99% of the human race dies this way.

Arjun Singh should be given death sentence. For being an irresponsible person. Everybody thinks of their profit, but at the same time we assure that nobody else is hurt. And even if someone is hurt, he is not hurt too badly. This man is ready to kill a whole nation.
And these politicians they talk shit. They have on their agenda .. increasing the number of IIT's. WTBF .. shouldnt it be .. making more colleges and making existing colleges as good as IIT's. Its not the naming of a college as IIT that will improve it. This Congress government is the worst I have ever seen. No wonder we didnt progress the 50 yeasr these bastards ruled.
Anyway all we can do is sit on our asses and blog. Or discuss the issue on the lunch table. I pity myself and everybody who is not protesting. Shouldnt we be fighting for our country?
I talked to a lot of my friends and no one was least bothered. There was a protest march from IIT to AIIMS. No one knows whether it happened or not. Such is the level of interest we have in our country.
My office ppl had a very furious discussion on the lunch table. I suggested what we could do. No one was at all interested.
Quite a few ppl were interested in the fact whether this will affect them or not. Private companies mein to nahi hoga na reservation.
As they say .. every country gets the government they deserve. I guess Arjun Singh should live. :-(


The young man strugggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away
..................
What i've felt
What i've known
Never shined through in what i've shown
..................
A tired man they see no longer cares
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me

We never appreciate the meaning of things unless we are in the situation to appreciate them. For example I could never fathom the fact that a man could be possessive about her girlfriend. I found it ridiculous when ppl acted insecure. But now I am in a situation which I used to detest in others. Thus I have stopped criticising human instincts.
Similarly I used to hate the songs , yaaron (KK), pal (KK) etc, but there was a phase when I was losing friends by the day when I left college. And I understood what they meant. Similarly I hated this song .. chalte chalte mere ye geet yaad rakhna... but somehow I have started appreciating this too. And no i still hate the music of this song. Its just that the lyrics have some meaning now.
Maybe this is what you mean by growing up. And maybe I have grown up a lot in one year.
Time, they say is the best teacher and the best healer.

Life is getting sad. And I am sorry to say that I feel like writing when I am sad. Which makes me feel like a very sad and depressed person. But Over the period of last 4 months when I did not write I was really happy.
I believe that the prime motive of man's existence is to keep himself happy. And happiness soes not just mean material happiness. There are other happiness like intellectual happiness, spiritual happiness, emotional happiness etc.
I owe a lot to music. Its been the best of stress reliever for a long long time. Last week was not really good. The one on one was quite amusing. Things like these dont affect us anymore.
Just read a phrase "honetly conducted research". And this para
"Secondly, if you find a problem interesting, don't worry too much about whether it has been solved in the existing literature. You will have a lot more fun with it if you don't know, and you will learn a lot, even if what you come up with turns out not to be publishable." at this place. Things like these make you look forward to a good research career. Hoping to be able to come close to some honestly conducted research.
Things have already started becoming better. hoping the trend continues.
Also the evening with Manya was quite good. spent such good time with a friend after a very long time.
This is the transistion period again. And its gonna be painful. And now I dont even feel like drinking. What will I do to purgate the emotions now is the question.
But the problem is why cant I drink. Is it because everytime I have tried the company was not right. Lets see. Its not bad right now.

you know what i hate about being with some ppl. there is a continous process of judging you running in the background. and then there is a tendency to please everyone around you. its like a surmounting pressure. specially with ppl with whom you have been for very long. by now the judgement time should be over. and if i have passed the test of being 'good enough' to be your friend then please let me be myself. and if you havent realized that by now i am quite a selfish person. So please hate me if you like.

"your happiness should not be governed by anyone else".
you should not place your happiness in anybody else's hands. you should be as independent as possible. its not required that in order to be very good friends you have to be dependent.
Even if you spend very little time you can have a very good relationship.
And most importantly you should not compromise on your friends. Lets say you have a situation where you dont have any friends around. The people who are around you, you dont like them really. SO what do you do, compromise and make friends with them or live alone?
Its good to have friends, but not necessary. So it is very important to know how to live by yourself.

Anyways, that was a totally different issue.
Now coming to the topic: I saw zinda yesterday. One of the few things that came to my mind was that passion is ony thing..being eccentric is another. You can be passionate about something as much as you want until it affects someone else's life. Rohit Prakash was not doing justice, he was being an eccentric, carrying his emotions far too much beond what they deserved. Sanjay Dutt was superb. And John Abraham was pathetic. Lara Dutta did an OK job. But the best thing was the movie making style. Yes it was copied, but what the heck, I get to watch something good. And the best part were the two songs.. zinda hoon main aur ye hai meri kahani. Never have songs integrated so well into the movie storyline. The first half is simply superb.

Happy New Year

Nothing changes except the last digit in the date column. Why the hell do people celebrate. Sometimes it seems so absurd. Crores of people are happy just because the year is changing. How can the human mind be so meaningless. Even animals wont agree to such behaviour (If given an option that is). I believe we should celebrate only personal successes. But some people dont manage to achieve anything and hence the concept of personal success is missing. For such people the achievement of earth in making a complete circle is reason enough to celebrate.

Anyway, I heard a phrase yesterday called "main excuse person". A person who you know is as capable as u is achieving <= you. So you tell yourself that it's OK. He's not doing good either. When such main excuse people start achieving, it's then that the bells start ringing.

One of the mistakes that we make is comparing people. When we compare ourselves with others we induce a lot of unhappiness into our thoughts.