maine notice kara hai ki aajkal main apni chats etc mein ":) " bahut use karne laga hoon. maybe because i m trying to happy despite the fucked up situation i am in. finally i m making an effort to be happy. state of acceptance :)

psychoanalysis is really nice. u get to think about your own thinking and your brain. and u feel stunned by its complex behaviour. waise isse mujhe outsider ka wo part bada yaad aata hai when mersault was in his cell and he was thinking abt his life, remembering things, and he said that give a man just one free day and he can live the rest of his life trapped in a cell just thinking and remembering. its simply amazing how much time we spend just thinking abt things, imagining things, hoping, desiring, remembering. i think our brain is the most special gift not because we made such good gadgets but because it keeps us so occupied.
and yes sigmund freud was not as sick as ppl assume him to be. in fact he was a man who understood the human brain more than anyone else. and specially the unconscious brain. and how those latent thoughts translate into superficial (censored) thoughts. that is exactly why we never know the real reason behind our actions. and also that is why we never understand/know our true emotions.
anyways its nice to have a confused state of mind, complex thoughts, keeps you occupied if nothing else. a man who has all figoured out has to actually work on his thoughts. but a confused man can keep (making a pretense of) thinking and thus get away without doing any work. exactly like in the industry you have to work, whereas in a research lab you have to just pretend to think.

outsider mein ek line aur thi which was baffling. usmein this mersault says that
"har aadmi kabhi na kabhi aise chahta hai ki wo jisse sabse zyada pyaar karta hai us insaan ki death ho jaye". Now this is completely incomprehensible.

A: yaar ye bandi tote hai.
Q: duniye mein arnd 6 billion log honge. unmein se lets say 3 billion bandiyan hain. 25% of which are between 18 and 35, the category jismein hum totappa dhoondte hain. unmein se lets say 30% tote hain. amounts to 25o million tote bandiyan. Then what is the point of saying ki YE bandi tote hai. when there are 25o million more tote bandiyan. and moreover if you demand 1 Rs from each tote bandi for the compliment then you can earn 25 lacs :D
:)) :))

btw another evening which demanded cheers to all those ... called friends. Thanks